The rhythmic jostling of the bus would have lulled me off to sleep if the pounding of my heart had kept in time with the beat. A giddy laugh would have escaped me if it were not plugged up by the dread of thinking of all the possible ways I could make a total fool myself. Yet, the remorse of summer’s fleeting existence was held back by the feeling that colder weather would hopefully bring warm memories.
Still, the prospect of summer ending only made the first day of school more unrealistic. Throughout all those summer days my mind had basically avoided thinking about high school. There is an expression that says ‘If you can dream it, you can be it.” Well, I did not want high school to arrive quickly, so I certainly did not dream about it! I mean, can you blame me? High school is basically new faces, new schedules, but the same old me. So of course I did not want high school to arrive.
Yet, one part of me was anticipating the first day of school. This was a new start! I didn’t know what it was going to be like, but is that not what high school is all about? Not knowing anything and then going to learn things? To learn about myself? To learn about the things and people around me?
My conscience was torn like Derek Rose’s ACL.
These thoughts and many more ran through my head as I embarked on the bus ride that seemed to take forever. But forever arrived before I knew it. As we pulled to a stop in front of the school, my pounding heart was ready to burst out of my chest. I was sure everyone sitting around me could here it. My palms turned sweaty and so much adrenaline pumped through me I felt like I had just chugged a gallon of coffee. But my breath came in gasps as if I had just ran to Friends Academy and not only taken the bus.
I stepped off the bus, and my first thought was, “Why do I hear classical music?” Realizing that I was luckily not crazy and the music was only coming from a speaker, I stepped through the doors into the Dolan Center. Someone flashed me a smile. I timidly smiled back. Through the doors of the lunchroom was a whirl of activity. People who had known each other forever, laughing and chatting, while others were getting breakfast from who knows where. The cacophony of voices was music to my ears and washed the nerves away. So I stepped right in.